A perplexing puzzle leading to no solution, as always

8/5/2016

When working on Jane, it is usually best to follow this simple five-step procedure:

1. Identify problem

2. Take things apart

3. Scratch head in confusion, do nothing

4. Put things back together

5. Enjoy a car that now somehow has become worse

This is exactly the procedure I followed this morning. My friends Bill, John, Don, and Ed came over to help me do a compression test on Jane to try to find out where the oil leak is coming from. Because the driver’s side exhaust is the only side spitting oil, we knew that the problem had to be on that side. So the first step was to pull all of the spark plugs to determine which cylinder was the miscreant. The bad cylinder would show a fouled plug with oil residue on it.

Well… at least, it should have.

You see, every single one of my plugs looked exactly perfect with no carbon buildup, no oil residue, no weird issues, nothing.

So that kind of put a damper on our diagnosing. See: step three.

We were going to just do a compression test on all four cylinders on that side anyways – to see if we could figure out where oil was getting past – but alas, had a metric compression tester and a non-metric car. So that idea got scrapped too.

With no other ideas, the others went off to find an oil thickener (to at least reduce the amount of oil that Jane was burning to help me get home) while I called Chas. He had no clue how oil could get into the exhaust without touching the spark plugs so that’s what let me know that this was a really odd problem.

Anyways, while waiting on the oil thickener, I went ahead and pulled all of the plugs on the other side – which looked just fine – pulled both of the valve covers – which looked just fine – and then put everything back. We started her up and ran her up to temperature, and imagine my surprise when I found that now the car smoked from both sides of the exhaust! Go figure. In case you haven’t guessed, this is steps 4 and 5 of the procedure.

Like there's any chance at all that I was going to fix this... lol.

After adding the oil thickener I ran over to Grand Sierra Resort to see the cars. I figured that Jane was going to be Jane, and since the spark plugs were good she was clearly happy with the current arrangement, so I just left it alone. I did enjoy spraying smoke onto the thousands of spectators wandering GSR’s spectacular car lot (actually, I didn’t, but Jane did). I finally found a place to park and got food in my stomach, then joined my parents and all of the other spectators wandering around the lot gawking at the incredible cars. So here’s a few pictures that came out more or less well.

Serious business drag car

Serious business drag car's serious business interior

I don't know what this is but it is tiny and hilarious

Just liked the license plate.

A 2-seater... Studebaker, I believe? Not sure why this picture is sideways.

Jane in a long line of hot rods

Loved this paint job.

The front door opens and the steering wheel swings aside so you can sit down... I see no design flaw here.

Just liked this car because it looks like a baby Maverick to me.

Needs more shift levers

Cheesegrater Cuda

Most beautiful paint I've ever seen on a car - really amazingly done. Hopefully have a better picture tomorrow.

Pulling a trailer! 

Yes, that is a boat on the roof... and yes, you can unstrap it, stick on the outboard motor located on the front of the hitch, and then motor it around. Someone came up with this genius idea fifty years ago!

Best shopping cart I've ever seen

Had some amazing steaks for dinner, then set up our chairs for the night’s concert: America! Yes, that band.The show was slated to start at 8:15 and the place was getting packed, but I really wanted to go cruise the Reno strip so we opted to all pile into Jane, drive back to Reno, and then take a cab back for the show.

This time my Mom cruised with me while Dad stood near the Reno sign to hopefully catch a picture of us under it. Unfortunately, the sign didn’t light up… until just after I had gone under it and left the block! Boo. It was still fun though – lots of different cars and traffic was moving a bit faster (and the weather was a bit cooler) so there was none of the survivor-style cooling drama that there was the prior night. That did, however, make it a bit duller. Probably in a good way. Jane continued to smoke out both sides of the exhaust, I continued to ignore it. Whatever.

Tons of spectators!

After doing a lap around the block I returned Jane to the Sands and then my parents and I hopped in a cab to go back to see the concert. Got there just in time, found our chairs, and saw a great show! When the song "A Horse with No Name" came on, I found myself wondering what things would be like if Jane was, well, not Jane. Maybe if I had left her as a horse with no name, I wouldn't have had to deal with so many personality "quirks"... but probably not. I'm sure they would have come out anyways.

After the show we hung out in the parking lot with a bunch of friends until the weather turned chilly past midnight. A lovely end to a fantastic but hectic day! At this point I was pretty burnt out (hence the lack of posts). I don’t know how I expected to have any downtime at an event like this! Caught a few Z’s and then moved on to the next day… more fun!